How Should Men Sit? Legs Open Or Closed | Crossed Vs Straight Leg Body Language Signals

How Should Men Sit? Legs Open Or Closed | Crossed Vs Straight Leg Body Language Signals


5 Leg Sitting Positions And The Message They
Send [0:00:00]
Pop quiz. How do you place your legs when you take a
seat? Never thought about it? Most people don’t and that can be an issue
because the way you place your legs, the way you positioned them can have an effect on
how people perceive you, how you actually think and if you’re not controlling the
message in a negotiation, in a big meeting, in an interview, that can be an issue. In today’s video, I’m going to talk about
the five most common seated leg positions, the message they send, and how you can control
that message. [Music]
Now, as I mentioned there were five general ways that we position our legs whenever we’re
seated. I’m going to take these five ways I’m
going to break them into two categories. Category one is where our legs are straight
in front of us. Category two is where we’ve got crossing
of our legs in three variations. So, first off let’s start with category
one. The first seated leg position I want to talk
about is the knees together position. This is where your legs are out straight in
front of you, you knees are about 2 to 10 inches apart. Now, what’s interesting about this one is
for most men, this is a learned sitting position, not a natural one because as men we’ve got
something in between our legs, we are built in a way that this is not natural, we need
a bit more room. But, let’s say you grew up in a city, you
travel a lot on an airplane, you don’t like to touch people, you are constantly trying
to minimize your space. When you do that, you build up a habit of
sitting in this position. Now, what does this signal to other people? When you try to minimize your space you come
off as weaker. Also, it can make you look more close and
it does for some people have that effect of just simply closing them off. I find for most men this is not a good seated
position simply it’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t feel great, I feel like I’m crushing myself,
so I know I try to avoid this. Now, the next seated leg position I’m going
to talk about is the spread-knee position and this is where your legs, again, are in
front of you, your knees are apart by 10 to 24 inches this time. Now, this is a natural sitting position for
most men and I love this sitting position because I think it’s right for most men
in most situations. Why? Because of the message that you send others
and that you send and you reinforce with yourself which is one of strength, power, dominance,
and status. In addition, the message you’re sending
yourself is I am relax I am open to the conversation with others. Now, don’t take this to an extreme. Don’t take up three seats on a subway whenever
there’s pregnant woman and older guy over who need a seat. Simply look around, show other people respect,
but I do think in general that men should not be forced to close in on themselves because
it also closes up their mind. But when you can sit in a position that you’re
comfortable and you take up your natural amount of space, that’s I think the optimum sitting
position for most men. All right. So, we’re through with keeping your leg
straight. Now, let’s talk about crossing your legs. In general guys, the one thing I want you
to remember when you cross your legs is that you do send the signal of closing yourself
off. So, in the support article which I’m going
to link to down in the description, I’m going to talk about a study in which they
looked at 2,000 negotiations and what they saw on the study was that none of the people
that reached an amicable solution of these 2,000 had their legs crossed. Now, I don’t know if that actually caused
it or what, you know, how that was all related, but I did find that very interesting. So, I invite you to go check out that support
article. So, the third leg position I’m going to
be talking about in the first crossed-leg position is the leg over leg position. Some people call this the European leg over
leg position. Supposedly it is more common over in Europe. It is again a learned behavior. One of the issues with the leg over leg, me
personally, I think it’s incredibly uncomfortable. Another issue with this is the message it
sends. This shows basically that you are protecting
yourself, that you are going to – and it forces you also to usually pull yourself back
like this, it shows that you’re listening, but you are – you’re making a judgment
you are – you’re aback, you a removed from the situation. Understand of all the leg positions, this
one right here shows that you’re the most closed off. The fourth seated leg position I want to talk
about is the figure 4 leg lock position. Yes, I know that sounds like a cool wrestling
move. Very common in North America, so it also is
called the American leg lock position and there are two variations. There’s the variations when you just had
the ankle up on your knee and also the clasp variation. Whenever you reach up and you’ve got your
hands up on your ankle in front of you as well. And it shows basically for many people this
is going to be the most open of all the crossed-leg positions basically because you’re showing
and you’re exposing yourself saying, hey, I’m open I’m here, very relaxed. This one also sends a strong signal of status
of dominance of power. The issue I have with this cross legged position
is some people view it as basically you are aloof, that you are listening just because
you have to be there. Also, in some cultures showing the bottom
of your foot is a no-no, so be aware of that as well. [0:05:12]
The fifth seated leg position I’m going to talk about today is the ankle lock position. And this is basically where one of your ankles
is over the other. For some people this is very comfortable,
for most people this is unconscious that they get into this position. So, the interesting thing about the ankle
lock position is it unconsciously reveal sometimes what a person is thinking. Now, you need to know what that person’s
baseline body language and behavior is, but for many people it can be a sign of nervousness,
something that they’re scared that they’re closed off for some reason. You can be talking with somebody and you can
pick up that, okay, they’re bouncing their foot, they’ve got their ankles crossed,
maybe they’re in a sense protecting themselves or they’re thinking about something their
mind isn’t there. So, this one is very interesting and going
back to that negotiation study I talked about, this has been shown actually if it’s not
part of your baseline that you are closing yourself off that it does have an effect on
your mindset, you’re not going to be as open to what other people are saying. All right, gentlemen now it’s your turn. I want to hear from you down in the comments
what you think of this video? How could I make this better? What do you think of me bringing body language
videos here to the channel at Real Men Real Style? Oh, and by the way, if you have a particular
type of seated leg position and you’re curious is it common, what do most people do, this
is my default. Well, go over to the support article at Real
Men Real Style, I’m going to put it down in the description. I’m going to have it set so you can vote
and then you’ll be able to see the results of that poll and you’ll be able to say,
hey, actually 30% of us do it this way, 40% of us sit this way, or I’m part of the 10%
which actually positions my legs in this manner. Now, again, gents, I’m not going to say
there’s a right or wrong way, but what I do think is wrong is when you’re not controlling
the message, when you’re sabotaging yourself, when you’re shooting yourself in the foot
and maybe you’re coming off as closed, as not listening, but you are listening. So, make sure that your body language, the
way that you dress, all of these sends the message that you want to send. Gentlemen, that’s it. Take care. I’ll see you in the next video. Now, be sure to sign up of e-mail notifications. That way you can watch my videos when they
first come out. Now, sometimes I offer exclusive deals that
are time-sensitive, so make sure that you never miss out on one by being part of the
early notification squad. [Music]
[0:07:46] End of Audio

100 thoughts on “How Should Men Sit? Legs Open Or Closed | Crossed Vs Straight Leg Body Language Signals”

  1. How should men sit? Let me know in the comments!

    http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/open-closed-legs-men-sit/ – Click here to read the article – 5 Sitting Positions And The Message They Send

    Video Summary:
    0:58 – Knees Together
    1:55 – Knees Spread
    3:37 – Leg-Over-Leg Position
    4:17 – Figure-Four-Leg-Lock Position
    5:12 – Ankle-Lock Position

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/rmrscommunity/ – Click HERE To Join our online Facebook Community

  2. A baseline is important. I'm sitting in my home office right now with my ankles crossed. That a relaxed position for me and so is, the ankle on knee position but for me though both lack formality and thus in business and in practice I sit feet flat on the floor and knees about 10-12" apart facing toward my intraocular.

  3. Many people think that crossing your legs says that your closed off, that is not the case. 90% of the time it's the opposite of closed off

  4. Haha…it is funny we need to talk about a topic like this. We have a problem, when we need videos that tell men how to sit.

  5. Fantastic video, although clearly a US-centric take on things, particularly when it comes to the ‘European’ position, which is in Europe considered a sign of mutual respect and recognition, but equally of control, poise, and – for lack of a better term – dominance. I’ve found many Americans see it as weak and even effeminate: I suppose the logic is that “I’ve got big balls and I need you to know it”. In Europe this reflects the stereotype of Americans as being too literal in their thinking, too brazen and quite uncouth. It comes across as hucksterish, as the sort of way a slick salesman would sit, along with making sure to show off his gold Rolex and newly whitened teeth. In case you couldn’t already tell, I prefer the European position. It feels more subtle, more elegant, and is personally more comfortable.

  6. I find that leg-over-leg comfortable. Here in Germany, many men are used to it, and it gives an air of maturity. Whereas it's very clear when a guy is young, when crossing his legs in a figure-four position.

  7. With the 10-24 inch leg open i dont believe this is the best persoanlly because although it shows an open mind and more of a personal tome I dont think it shows as much respect, its fairly casual and should be used in casual situations where as personally leg over leg i feel shows more respect for those you are listening to and you dont have to sit back while using leg over leg whatsoever if it is comfortable for you.

  8. Men shouldn't cross their legs at all. Biologically, most men can't even cross their legs in the leg over leg position. First of all men don't have birthing hips to accommodate this position. Second men need to keep their testicles at a lower temperature. Leg spreading would be more natural, and healthier for men. Never mind body language and social norms. I wont risk hip joint problems, and a low sperm count and poor blood circulation for this nonsense.

  9. im used to be in between the ankle lock position and the figure-for leg-lock and always thought both were "immature" and "childish" positions to used. I also always though the leg-over-leg was the most "professional" and "formal" position to ever be in, but… my package cannot deal with it more than 20 seconds haha

  10. You are an idiot making video on how you should sit how to keep legs on what distances……..You can make it better by not making stupid videos

  11. Well personally, as a psychologist and a person who ankle locks quiet often, its a way to not squish your balls and also to show your not open to be touched as well. Basically its a Don't touch me and I dont want to squish my balls lock. Since your legs are together and knees are open, if someone begins to touch your knees with theirs and forces you to shut your legs it would hurt your nuts so it forces one to stand their ground. The ankle lock is a respectful persons way of saying I want my space I'm giving you as much space as I can, dont touch me and I wont touch you.

  12. 5th position ankle lock shows the most balanced and complete person ho is a real master of all the masters where thighs are a bit open where as your lower limb crossed decently. It demonstrates relaxed yet elegant posture. It has no hint of big headed arrogance who will reject everyone or closed off nor a pushover person who will give in to whatever is thrown at him by others to follow blindly. Its the sign of great leaders. check out the people who in their suits sit likewise. its the balance of the extremes meeting at the equilibrium point which creates perfection in this universe. yin yang. formal and informal combined in balance.

  13. Could it be true that all this is just a "western " mindset ? It's merely cultural I feel , things are so different in the East

  14. I like sitting on the couch with my back in the seat, the legs up the back rest, feet on the wall, head hanging down.

  15. The leg to leg looks gay and also it's meant for people with small parts. I cant do the leg to leg because I have a big dick and Big Balls, it tends to compress and push down on my private parts. Maybe that's the reason why it's so popular for Asian men and white men😂

  16. In my view men should not cross their legs.. They have two very valuable items that should be handled with the upmost care: Their testicles!
    * Just my opinion*

  17. wtf leg over leg uncomfortable? im from Serbia, thats in europe, i always sit like that in public and at home i put my legs on chair or desk or on sofa more like im squatting… and im almost 2 meters hight and thats most comfortable positions for me…

  18. Can someone please tell this dude sitting crossed legs are not bad, I find it very comfortable, and don't need his alpha approval or advice, he probably comes from militaristic society and wants too be cool but really, the mouth and face fails completely. Just think about it before y'all think I am judgemental… This dude pisses me off…

  19. It's my nature to sit leg over leg and I disagree with the analysis. For me it's formal seating position but I dont regard it as closed off. I see it as a position of physical comfort as well as a position of, I'm comfortable with who I am as a person.

  20. With my experience I feel many times we cross our legs just to balance our selves on odd chairs (when you fall little short to touch the floor for a comfortable sitting position and the chair is unstable or swivel)

  21. Hey Antonio! Great content! i think it's good that you add also non-clothes topics, because they sort of tie together the material artifact (clothes) with the goal (personal improvement and better social progress) via explaining the "how", and providing the psychology behind it. i think it's a super idea, but it shouldn't be too much of it. there are great channels out there such as Charisma on command who specialize in these things, so perhaps a link to them could be useful, depending on the topic.

    I personally like another leg position, the one which is rare and depends on the situation. i call it the medieval royal position; basically, imagine yourself sitting with non-crossed legs, knees apart, one leg rests on the ground and another rests on something a bit highter – imagine like on a small football. this position i find very comfortable for example in a bus.

  22. I think the perfect position for a man when sitting is when the feets and legs we're spread and put both the hands on the back of your head and lean your body on the back of the chair. Its more comfortable.

  23. Please allow thyself to read onward. I have been watching a great deal of gentlemen orientated videos here on YouTube and this one has given me fascination as well fascinating informative lifestyle lessons; without a doubt my preference of legs positioning while seated would have to be crossing my lower and even upper extremities thee tightest together including the closest they can be, because of adoration for myself. These mannerisms appear to be mostly reserved or conservative perhaps proper. It adds to your character as an individual gentile. Simply put being crossed completely is a lovely look for said human being such as myself is made out to be. Thank you thankfully/ gratefully very much appreciated. May you all have an immense life grandest sires.

  24. 4:07 I'm sorry, I know this is just an example, but who how bad does your taste for style have to be to wear those socks and shoes. I mean did he spend all his money on the suit and didn't have enough for some fine shoes and socks so he went to lost and found in Walmart? WTF?

  25. This matters how, sit with dignity to accomadate comfort and having nut room, sit up straight, and skip bullshit

  26. Great video! Ankle over ankle is the dead man position; when a person is killed while standing, the fall results in the ankle crossed position. The problem with doing it deliberately or from habit is with the subconscious mind. It is a body language signal to that part of the mind that you are not mentally present in the moment. You are not alive in the moment.
    Professional fighters sometimes fall with crossed ankles. Law enforcement is usually aware of the crossed ankles effect.
    Yes, do body language videos.
    Apparently, I knew almost nothing about clothing and style!
    Thank you, Sir.
    Charles Alan Clark

  27. when men keep their legs open they take up room and make us uncomfortable. I usually don't say anything, and look for a seat that i don't have to be next to anyone, or I get up because I refuse to have to sit uncomfortable

  28. To me leg over leg signals weakness, no balls, feminine, submissive. My female friends are turned off from this one.

    Legs spread is the best. Position 1 and 2 in this video are the good ones.

  29. I cross my legs like a girl because it feels better. I mean, Brad Pitt does it. Literally every man sits lady way.

  30. I actually think that the leg over leg position is a comfortable one, and in my personal experience I feel comfortable, secure, relaxed and open to listening and conversing. Also the spread knee is a position that establishes dominance, power, security. So, I would say those two are my go to sitting positions

  31. I like the European leg cross – leg on leg. It looks gentlemanly, refined. I don't quite like the American leg cross with the hand clasp looks. It looks unrefined and rather brutish. This host is American and he would advocate for a way of sitting that conforms to the norms and body language projections that are viewed from an American lens. In many cultures, especially in Asia, American body and verbal communication can come across as being 'in your face', too confident and too showy. Often behind that projected 'confidence' and bluster is a mediocre person that over-promises and under delivers. Americans are all about projecting to the world power and strength, even if they are not the most powerful, strongest or wisest.

  32. What is the best seating position in an interview? I thought the European leg over leg was the best seating position?

  33. I sit leg over leg more often than any other position. Learned behavior? Maybe, my grandfather always say like that. A man that I had great respect for. I also find that I am relaxed and confident in this position.

  34. If you've had a long day full of amateur hour company then you deserve a Dr. Pepper and a leg cross.

    Eat my socks haters ✔

  35. I live in Europe and I love the leg over leg, and yes it's very comfy. Maybe to Americans might think it's close by not all. Especially in bigger cities where there are more people and less space. This video is full of bollocks.

  36. I guarantee you women would have a different view on your leg position, me parsley I like to have my legs far apart I have a lot of melanin and big hands so I can't do none of the leg Crossing Stuff Plus it looks kind of feminine.

  37. Antonio, I think the sitting position has a lot to do with body types. For example the European leg over leg position is adopted mainly by lean tall men as stocky men would not be able to pull this off.

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