Reapers - Drowning In Footwear

Reapers – Drowning In Footwear

good morning Normandy this is Commander Shepard you're my favorite crew let's go kill some Reapers I love my crew they're my best friends I'm a lucky guy if there's one thing I hate Reapers those god damn Reaper good morning Rex trapper you're my best friend good morning Garris hello give my other best friend I know good morning tally what you're my girlfriend ah shucks good morning werewolf how'd you get on here anyways you adopted me oh yeah Shepherd Jacob good morning Shepherd you're boring oh why you on my shit sorry I thought I told you to go away go out the airlock I don't like yeah your Cerberus Oh mood two are in cahoots with the elusive man and he's in cahoots rapers i'm commander shepard i made breakfast for the whole crew everybody gather round using me except for you Jacob get out of here kiss the cup guess the cup everybody line up got to kiss the cook Miranda guess the cook Liara just the cook Edie guess the cook Samara guess the cook Jack just the cook Weejun just the cook werewolf just the cook okay down boy Ashley just the cook Rex kiss the cook tally just the cook tally where you're going don't be jealous it's an Old Earth tradition everyone pass against the cook tally I see you've been drinking through a straw that is so adorable let's have a party just do a drink let's get drunk those look fun Jacob go away I hate that guy i'm commander shepard everyone my friend you're my brother I feel the same way I'm making you an honorary krogan you might go bro you're my bro kid Rogan I like that Thank You Rex you're my best friend I defeated the reapers I punched the Reaper King it wasn't a little ghost boy that was a dream the galaxy is united my decisions made a difference my battle is over now it's party time now me and my crap just fly round I think wacky adventures just hanging out get drunk every day you have a lot of fun it's like sitcom I install the laugh track on the Normandy [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] guys we did it you're all my best friends but we must honor those we've lost so we're going to the beach and doing tests on seashells in honor of Lord a moment of silence please eating turn that crap off this is serious god dammit there's a time and a place for that kind of crap show some respect stupid robot I didn't know any better I'd say you were half Reaper that stupid Reaper brain of yours I apologized commander I forgive you at least you're not Jacob bow your head okay three four reverse reverse Reapers gravis [Applause] I'm grounded

23 thoughts on “Reapers – Drowning In Footwear”

  1. It is no exaggeration that this has profoundly impacted my life for years, and will do so until I die

  2. So idk wtf this is other than some ME utter madness but will someone please explain the title? Cause I just know it as something Spike says in Buffy the Vampire Slayer….

  3. Wow, I just noticed today is the fifth anniversary of this masterpiece. May the Jess remain endless for many years to come.

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