“Rice is Rice” | Jo Koy : Live from Seattle

“Rice is Rice” | Jo Koy : Live from Seattle

I’m half white and half Filipino, that’s what I am… Which means my dad was in the military That’s not even a joke… That’s real shit A lot of soldiers were fighting for this country My dad was dating I’m his Purple Heart My dad would say borderline racist shit to me when I was a kid Borderline racist shit But I knew he was joking… It’s my dad Just sitting at the dinner table like… You now why I married your mom, right? Why…? Cuz I love Chinese food… She’s Filipino dad… Whatever… Rice is rice… What the fuck?! Rice is rice! That’s so racist! I’m not knocking what my mom had To do to get to America she… Fuck it, that’s her hustle That was her hustle God bless you mom! You hooked up with a soldier, had a kid in America God bless you mom! She did what she had to do… She could have hooked up with a Filipino and had a kid in the Philippines… You know how much a… a comedian makes in the Philippines? A chicken and flip flops! Fuck that… Fuck that, I don’t even like flip flops My mom was the shit My mom and dad divorced when… When I was like 10… 11 years old My mom had to raise us on her own She did that shit on her own… Tough as shit Sometimes a little too tough Like it was borderline illegal, but… It sucked… She never took us to the doctor My mom never took us to the doctor… My mom raised us like we were still in the Philippines She tried to cure everything at home… Like a real Filipino woman You had to die to go to the hospital… Shit… My mom cured everything with Vicks Vapor Rub Vicks Vapor Rub! I should have died 9 times when I was a kid! That’s abuse! There was one time, I thought I had pneumonia I go mom, I think I have pneumonia She goes ‘I’ll put extra Bicks on your body, Josep’ Just rub it everywhere, Josep Rub it on da bottom of da foot… And den put a sock on da foot And den the pneumonia will come out of da foot, Josep I’m just smothered in fucking Vicks I should have called the cops… One time I was so sick, I swear to God… True story I go mom, I don’t feel good… I can’t sleep I can’t sleep mom My mom took a finger… And stuck it in Vicks And rubbed it on top of my top of my eyelids On top of my eyelids! That shit burned so bad I go mom! It burns!! I can’t open my eyes! My mom goes ‘Well then you can sleep…’ Good night Josep… She didn’t give a shit Mean She never hit us… My mom never hit us She just scared us a lot She loved to curse… And she used to… flex, like that She used to do that shit! She brought that to America! Anyone that does this shit… Aye, my mom started that shit She did it to all of us You know how embarrassing that is? To get punked by a 4 foot 8 Asian woman? At the fucking mall Get out of da God damn Poot Locker Get out of the Poot Locker! I’m not even in the Foot Locker!! I used to cry… I used to cry and tell my mom, I go Mom, when I have kids… I’m never gonna do what you do to me… To my kids And my mom looked at me… I swear to God She put her hand on my shoulder And she goes Josep… Promise me, ok? Never have kids…

100 thoughts on ““Rice is Rice” | Jo Koy : Live from Seattle”

  1. I am Filipina and i married an American guy. I'd love to have my own "Joseeep" someday. Vicks' ready πŸ˜€

  2. Vix vapor rub is common for everyone. Definitely in the midwest, my mom used it on us alllll of the time lol

  3. He was recommended on my YouTube. Finally, something I enjoy watching. Thank you Joseph, love your comedy! Makes this 56yr old happy before bed. I was raise to always never go to sleep mad.

  4. You are not funny you always make laugh about filipino culture..you can entertain people without humiliting others.this is bullying.!

  5. I think he might of got that being dead to go to the hospital and the Vicks instead of Robitussin for every illness from Chris Rock.

  6. The content creator that I really want to watch because he is so funny and it really mirrors the customs of the Filipinos.

  7. for everyone that doesn’t know philippines was colonized by spaniards so that’s why philippines and spain etc have similar things

  8. This one is so accurate!πŸ˜‚ I thought I was the only one thinking bout this. Vicks Vapor Rub is like a life extension for filipino momsπŸ’β€β™€

    Imagine everytime I got some headache my mom would say "Get the vicks and apply some on your forehead" or even coughs and cold, or even I get injured playing my sport-
    I was like "WOAHH REALLY MOM?? I need to see a doctor or else I will not be able to walk just because of that #VICKS of yours πŸ€¦β€β™€πŸ’β€β™€ but I love my mom!!πŸ₯°

    Ps. How I wish this Vicks thingy could also cure the pain I'm feeling in my heart lolπŸ™ŠπŸ˜©

  9. I guess us Mexicans are related to Philippino!! Either that or my mom has been lying on who's my dad πŸ€”πŸ€”

  10. I am grateful to have you sir which you show everyone of what kind the filipinos are in the whole world. Hope you will continue to share a lot of video of who are the filipinos all about.

  11. I was impressed every words that you speak it seems that your gifted comedian an unique.Because we know that your half filipino but your proud being filinpino comedian.

  12. Filipino moms really cares for their child:) there are two types of mom, the white mom and πŸ™‚
    (everything will be cure by "Vicks Vapor Rub")
    hahahaha:) πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  13. My Mom is a true FilAm, born in Stockton Ca from Immigrant farm worker parents in 1948. My Pop, immigrant from Ennis County Clare Ireland with granny and his two sisters to Los Angeles. He was 13.
    My Mom is a nurse and is the total opposite of Jo Koy's mom. My dad, he tried to cure us kids with LISTERINE!!!! Or rubbing a onion on our head! WTF!!!!
    My pop was a US Army officer in Vietnam, worked and went to night school for a masters in public administration. But when his kids got sick, he rubbed half a onion on our heads WTF!!! Hahahaha!

  14. I'm Indonesian, and my Mom loves Vicks Vaporub as well. I'm 34 now and I'm still looking for Vicks Vaporub or Salonpas everytime I got cold or ill. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

  15. This is very funny. I watch this many times and i still laugh so bad. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ so proud that your proud to be pinoy… 😍😍😍

  16. Joseph:mom i cnt sleep

    Mom:puts Vicks on top of my eyelid !

    Jospeh :mom i cant open my eyes

    Mom: well then you can sleep. goodnight joseppp!πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

  17. this is something that never gets addressed. but is a mixed white other then become white. cause t seems like every mixed blak is still black. every asiatic white mix is what?

  18. This guy and I have the same exact life. Except she became lesbian after the divorce. My mom once made me eat condensed chicken noodle soup with no added water….I puked all the rug that every Asian family has…the pink one with frills and flowers…I've never been told how much I dishonor my whole family that many times for one incident.

  19. You need new jokes ever time the same jokes over and over. Yes their funny but I’d like to here something new from you.

  20. When I was maybe 6 or 7 I had the flu and my Filipina grandmother microwaved some Vicks rub, poured it on a plate with a couple of rocks on it, and told me to sniff it until I was better.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *