Steph Curry’s New Sneakers Aren’t So Bad, Right?

Steph Curry’s New Sneakers Aren’t So Bad, Right?


SPEAKING OF TROPHIES, TONIGHT IS
GAME FIVE OF THE NBA FINALS. THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS COULD
CLINCH THE CHAMPIONSHIP, THOUGH BERNIE SANDERS INSISTS HE STILL
HAS A CHANCE. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
NOW, I DON’T KNOW WHO WON THE GAME BECAUSE WE TAPE AT 6:00 PM
AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE GAME’S NOT ON CBS. NOW, THE WARRIORS ARE UP AGAINST
IT TONIGHT BECAUSE WARRIORS’ CENTER DRAYMOND GREEN WAS
SUSPENDED FROM TONIGHT’S GAME FOR DIRTY PLAY AGAINST LEBRON
JAMES. HERE HE IS SLAPPING KING JAMES
RIGHT IN HIS LITTLE PRINCES. A SUSPENSION IS PRETTY HARSH,
THOUGH. USUALLY THE REFS TAKE IT EASY ON
A LOOSE BALL FOUL. (LAUGHTER)
NOW A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING THIS IS A CONSPIRACY TO LET
CLEVELAND WIN TONIGHT, SO IT EXTENDS THE SERIES. OKAY, BUT THIS ISN’T THE FIRST
TIME GREEN’S ATTACKED SOME NBA INSIDE STUFF. IN THE CONFERENCE FINALS AGAINST
OKLAHOMA CITY, HE VICIOUSLY KICKED STEVEN ADAMS RIGHT IN THE
PICK AND ROLLS. DRAYMOND, I GET IT. I KNOW YOU WANT TO WIN, BUT YOU
CAN DO IT WITHOUT PASSING OUT FREE BIRTH CONTROL. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE) OF COURSE, CHARLES BARKLEY
DOESN’T AGREE. HE DEFENDED GREEN’S ACTION.>>WHEN A GUY STEPS OVER YOU,
YOU HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION TO PUNCH HIM IN THE BALLS. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)>>STEPHEN: NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT
PLAY TWISTER WITH CHARLES BARKLEY. (LAUGHTER)
OF COURSE, GOLDEN STATE MIGHT STILL HAVE WON TONIGHT BECAUSE
THEY HAVE STEPH CURRY. HE’S A PHENOM. HE’S THE FACE OF THE NBA, PLUS
HE’S GOT THOSE PIERCING HAZEL EYES I’M SECURE ENOUGH IN MY OWN
MASCULINITY TO MENTION. IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN’T DO? YES. BECAUSE LAST WEEK UNDER ARMOR
UNVEILED THEIR NEW CURRY SIGNATURE SHOES, AND A LOT OF
PEOPLE ARE MAKING FUN OF THEM FOR BEING AS BLAND AS THEY ARE
DULL. BUT I SAY THEY NEED TO LAY OFF. STEPH IS A CLASS ACT AND A GREAT
PLAYER, A FRIEND OF THIS SHOW, AND WE NEED TO FOCUS ON HIS
SKILLS ON THE COURT — NAH, I’M SORRY, I CAN’T DO IT. THESE SHOES ARE JUST TOO
TERRIBLE. (LAUGHTER)
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DIDN’T THINK I WAS GOING TO GO
THIS TONIGHT, BUT, JIMMY, I GOT TO TAKE THE GLOVES OFF. ♪
(CRASHING SOUND) NOW REMEMBER, STEPH — THIS
HURTS ME AS MUCH AS IT HURTS YOU.>>ROUND ONE! (RINGING BELL)
♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
OH, YEAH! OH, BABY! I LOVE TO WATCH YOU WALK AWAY. ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. PUT ‘EM UP! DAMN STEPH CURRY, THESE SHOES
LOOK LIKE THEY ARE PUTTING THEMSELVES THROUGH NURSING
SCHOOL. (LAUGHTER)
UH-HUH. UH-HUH. NO, FOR REAL, STEPH — THESE NEW
SHOES ARE GOING TO LOOK GREAT NEXT SEASON, SO LONG AS THE
WARRIORS UNIFORMS BECOME KHAKI PANTS AND A BABY BJORN. (LAUGHTER)
BUT ALL JOKING ASIDE, STEPH, I CAN’T WAIT TO WEAR THESE
KICKS… HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO DONATE TO
NPR’S PLEDGE DRIVE TO GET THEM AS A GIFT? (LAUGHTER)
STEPH, HONESTLY, THESE SHOES LOOK LIKE A GOLF CART HAD SEX
WITH A JAR OF MAYONNAISE. (LAUGHTER)
STEPH, DO YOU WEAR THESE SHOES TO PLAY FOR GOLDEN STATE OR THE
GOLDEN GIRLS? (LAUGHTER)
STEPH, THESE SHOES ARE SO BLAND YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED THEM “AIR
JOSH GROBANS.” (LAUGHTER)
IF YOU WEAR THEM DURING A GAME, BE CAREFUL. IF YOU LOOK DOWN AT THEM DURING
A JUMP-SHOT, YOU WILL FALL ASLEEP IN MID-AIR. (LAUGHTER)
ALL RIGHT. IT’S TIME FOR THE KNOCKOUT BLOW. STEPH CURRY, THESE SHOES ARE SO
LAME THAT I, A 50-YEAR OLD SUBURBAN DAD, THINK THEY LOOK
COMFORTABLE, AND I COULD WEAR THEM ON WEEKENDS WHEN I
BARBECUE. IN FACT, I BOUGHT A PAIR. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(RINGING BELL) BOOM!>>EIGHT… NINE… TEN… IT’S A KNOCKOUT!>>STEPHEN: TAKE THAT, STEPH
CURRY! (RINGING BELL)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) NOW ALL YOU HAVE IS YOUR AMAZING
CAREER, YOUR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND THESE SUPRISINGLY
COMFORTABLE SHOES. I REALLY LIKE ‘EM! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANNA
CHLUMSKY!

100 thoughts on “Steph Curry’s New Sneakers Aren’t So Bad, Right?”

  1. Am I the only one who thinks that the bland design of the shoes was precisely the point? That maybe they are marketing to white suburban dads who like basketball? That maybe that's the (highly lucrative) demographic they are going for? The market for flashier signature sneakers is already pretty well covered by Jordans and Yeezies and what-have-yous, but dad gear is a money maker I would imagine.

  2. it would helpt to show how LeBitch really did take the "high road" by stepping over Draymond Green. haters gonna hate.

  3. Too much time spent on silly distractions and non-sense because 7 ft tall black men look best in shoes that are tangerine, lime & fuchsia… SMH!

  4. 1:25 – I think Sir Charles might be correct. It's an obligation. + NBA badly wanted this series extended.

  5. Ya know, they DO look better than all the psychedelic jumbled up bullshit they call shoes nowadays. Amazed they are marketed by a black guy.
    I'd wear those long before I'd wear any of the glaring green or orange or bright red or purple shit. I have to laugh every time I see someone wearing those neon drag queen sneakers. I look for the plainest ones I can find and will never pay more for a damn shoe than a tire for my car. It's gotten fucking ridiculous. Especially those damn Fucked Up Beyond Understanding faggot looking things that are all over Wally World. ( I've never seen a company called "Clothes just for White People" cuz that'd be racist if a white person did it)

  6. those shoes aren't even bad looking they're generic looking but ugly ? if you think those shoes are ugly check out the shaqs or kobes early shoes those were complete garbage lol

  7. I just noticed Stephen Colbert is pandering to his young audience I know he doesn't really care about sneakers enough to comment on them like if he was a sneakerhead.

  8. he failed to mention the suspension was due to accrued flagrants throughout the playoffs, not just that one one LeBron

  9. for those of u thinking under armour is getting free publicity I think you must have no sense of how the world works. Under armour most likely made a deal with show and the publicity is definitely not free. 2nd its not bad publicity, its good publicity

  10. That is such bullshit, Stephen didn't show the part when lebron very deliberately and awkwardly stepping over draymond. Watch the full video, I would've punched lebron James in the balls too

  11. I'm not even a Curry fan, but calm down people, those shoes are just fine. It looks like Colbert's network is running out of shit to talk about!

  12. At first I didn't get the hate on that shoe… Until I actually saw them and mistaked them as white new balances

  13. These shoes are going to make a ton of money for under armor because a sports star athlete and a shoes company are finally marketing to middle aged people with money. And of course non middle aged people will buy them.

  14. Damn, he's getting killed for these sneakers
    https://soundcloud.com/noreservationspodcast/give-me-the-mic-episode-26

  15. Warriors lose their 3-1 lead to the Cavs in the finals. Jordan and Spike Lee talk about the series.
    Jordan: I'm shocked Curry disappeared in the finals like that.
    Mars: Yeah, man, that's some space jam voodoo right there.
    Jordan: He wasn't drinking my 'secret stuff' was he?
    Mars: That stuff is just water. It's gotta be the shoe's!
    Jordan: Must be. Thosd shoes are duller than my Hanes boxer shorts, and they only come in gray.

  16. I'd say this is a Nike conspiracy. Pay off UA designers to fuck up curry's shoes and release them during the playoffs so he catches major flack for how shit they are, therefore destabilizing curry and enabling Lebron to win the championship the same year he signs his billion dollar contract with Nike 🙂 HAHAHAHA

  17. They ugly but where yall signature shoes at that's right yall ain't got none just a bunch a broke cornballs running around with their mamma's keyboard

  18. This is why the warriors blew their lead.. curry choked cuz he felt bad that every one was making fun of his shoes

  19. Why isn’t it enough to just enjoy sports? Why do they have to be such a huge focus of attention and resources? This stupidity over “bland shoes” … My dog, get some perspective, everyone.

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