Steph Curry’s New Sneakers Aren’t So Bad, Right?

SPEAKING OF TROPHIES, TONIGHT IS GAME FIVE OF THE NBA FINALS. THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS COULD CLINCH THE CHAMPIONSHIP, THOUGH BERNIE SANDERS INSISTS HE STILL HAS A CHANCE. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) NOW, I DON’T KNOW WHO WON THE GAME BECAUSE WE TAPE AT 6:00 PM AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE GAME’S NOT ON CBS. NOW, THE…

Trump’s Super Secret Agreement With Mexico

TRUMP IS TAKING A VERY HARD LINE ON CHINA. YESTERDAY, HE “THREATENED TO SLAP TARIFFS ON ANOTHER $300 BILLION OF CHINESE EXPORTS TO THE UNITED STATES IF CHINA’S LEADER, XI JINPING, DOESN’T MEET HIM AT THE G20 IN JAPAN.” THAT’S A PRETTY AGGRESSIVE INVITATION. IT’S LIKE SENDING OUT AN EVITE THAT SAYS, “COME TO RICK’S…

Stephen Debuts A New Waffle House Song

YOU KNOW, AS A SOUTH CAROLINIAN, I’VE SPENT MANY A FIGHT IN A WAX HOUSE. OPEN 24 HOURS, AND ITS MENU HAS PICTURES SO ORDERING DOESN’T REQUIRE WORDS. AH! AH! AND EVERY WAFFLE HOUSE HAS A JUKEBOX FULL OF SONGS ONLY ABOUT THE WAFFLE HOUSE. LIKE THIS ACTUAL SONG. LIKE THIS ACTUAL SONG. ♪ THERE’S…

Saoirse Ronan Tries To Teach Stephen An Irish Accent

AMERICANS LOVE IRISH PEOPLE.>>EVEN THE WAY YOU SAID THAT IT SOUNDED VERY IRISH.>>Stephen: DID IT NOW?>>NOT BAD WITH THE OLD IRISH BROGUE THERE.>>Stephen: CAN YOU TEACH ME TO DO A REAL IRISH ACCENT?>>I COULD TRY. I COULD CERTAINLY TRY.>>Stephen: I COULD TRY.>>IT COULD BE A CHALLENGE.>>Stephen: IT COULD BE A CHALLENGE.>>WE’LL GIVE IT A GP…

Tiffany Haddish Doesn’t Need Men, She Has A Blanket

GENTLEMEN, FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT WAS THE BREAKOUT STAR OF “GIRLS TRIP.” NOW SHE’S AN EMMY WINNER AND STAR OF THE NEW FILM “NIGHT SCHOOL.” PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO “THE LATE SHOW,” TIFFANY HADDISH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>Stephen: HEY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>Stephen: HEY! GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! REALLY…

Don’t Move To Canada Just Yet

WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW,” EVERYBODY. I’M STEPHEN COLBERT. I THINK. ( LAUGHTER ) I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO BELIEVE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE. LET ME ASK YOU– HOW’S EVERYBODY DOING RIGHT NOW? HOW YOU FEELING? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I’M GLAD. YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M GLAD. THAT’S BETTER THAN I…

Ken Jeong’s Life Changed When He Jumped Out Of A Trunk Naked

>>Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS A COMEDIAN AND DOCTOR NAMED KEN WHO PLAYS DR. KEN ON THE ABC SERIES “DR. KEN.” PLEASE WELCOME, DR. KEN JEONG! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>Stephen: YOU BROUGHT IT, MAN. GOOD TO SEE YOU.>>GOOD TO SEE YOU.>>Stephen:…

The ‘Queer Eye’ Cast Can Make Anything Look Fun

FOLKS, MY NEXT GUESTS ARE THE CAST OF THE EMMY AWARD WINNING SHOW “QUEER EYE.”>>HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ( CHEERING ) >>IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY! YEAH! HOW ARE YOU? WHAT’S GOING ON? COME, COME, COME! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS! WE GOT YOU A CAKE AND IT HAS SLOTHS ON IT. WHERE WOULD YOU BE GOING NOW?>>WORK. YOU’RE GAY, HONEY,…

Will Ferrell, Exotic Animal Expert

>>Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME WILL FERRELL. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >>Stephen: WELL, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.>>THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME, STEPHEN.>>Stephen: ALWAYS A PLEASURE.>>SO GREAT. SO GREAT TO FINALLY BE ON THE SHOW.>>Stephen: DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO WATCH THE GAME BACKSTAGE?>>WHICH GAME.>>Stephen: THE SUPER BOWL.>>NO. THERE WAS A THREE-HOUR “DOWNTON ABBY.”>>Stephen: OH. I…

Zoey Deutch Needed Snow Boots For The Women’s March At Sundance

>>Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTRESS WHO STARRED IN “DIRTY GRANDPA,” AND “WHY HIM?” YOU CAN NOW SEE HER IN “BEFORE I FALL”. PLEASE WELCOME, ZOEY DEUTCH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )>>Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU. I’M SORRY I DIDN’T GET A CHANCE TO SAY…